Blah

Since I got sent home I have been depressed and been trying my best to keep the house work up, but the lawn mower is broken, it needs a new belt and that's the only major thing that's left to do... but today I feel ok, I feel like maybe they're not mad at me but rather mad at that asshat of a manager, I took a shower and the idea hit me that I'm going to attempt to rewrite Alices Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and What She Found There. so right now I am rereading and copying down the cliff notes version in an attempt to see what exactly I want to do with it. I want to make it darker than it is, I'm thinking of making Alice a schiz... ideas, ideas

Shut Up Brain

I thought we were over this... so then why do I feel that whenever he looks at me all he sees is my ugly scars and strechmarks and muffin top and pimples? That's why he looks at other womens pictured and why not? They're all so beautiful and I am not... in fact it's amazing he even loves me at all, or touches me. Please just kill me